1. |
At Least It's Sunny
04:22
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I've got every reason to be satisfied.
but I lied when I said that I
had the confidence to make it on my own.
There was a time that I had options
like the time you made me forget all about them,
and now I'm stuck here alone
with nothing to show but a wasted year.
and the night comes around and we're at it again,
in the same old house with the same old friends.
a rainy day in the city gives me some room to breathe.
three jobs aren't the best for me,
but you gotta get by in this economy.
at least I'll lay awake tonight knowing I'm better off.
It's funny how I never used to be awkward or afraid of everything.
and you don't understand or pretend to care,
but I'm still there,
trying to salvage the pieces of an identity long gone.
call me a loser, call me pathetic, as long as you're calling me.
I'm better than this, I'll tell myself.
better than the rage and the go-to-hell's.
I spend my days just trying to come to terms with
how you managed to kill me so quickly.
you make me wonder why I can't even put into fucking words
the mess my head is in,
the reason I'm always the one waiting up.
and why everything I used to love and hold close
feels empty and pointless.
I know I can't justify these thoughts,
just like you know you can't justify giving up.
but I will not spend another year drowning in sadness.
never again.
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2. |
Amateur Hour
02:06
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live your mediocre acts acting like they're more,
and I wish that I could say I wasn't a part of it.
but that's it that's all I am,
and all we'll ever be,
a reality constructed of only the mistakes.
this late night drive offers more condolences than I could ask from anyone.
I throw myself back into these delusions of grandeur only to remain another fucking failure.
so grow up kid, life goes on,
there is no excuse for immaturity.
being a man means more than this.
I tell myself everyday, "this is a new beginning,"
but then it's one step forward and two steps back.
can't shake this mediocrity
with the motivation that I lack.
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3. |
Breaking Sad
02:41
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I'd rather stay in on the weekend,
and spend more time with netflix.
watch an obscure film and not think about you.
I'll watch the instant stream of someone else's problems.
and I'm holding fast to the thoughts of us that were too perfect.
and in time we'll know our mistakes.
she knows something.
I keep running.
regretting one thing,
believing nothing.
countless hours driving back and forth
so I can explain myself.
so I'll drive you home,
and say goodbye
forever.
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4. |
Anyone, Anything
04:40
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these instances, were they coincidence? are the regrets?
hollow thoughts fill my head.
should I act my age and drink away the pain in my chest?
reread the messages, reenact the scenes.
you're a terrible liar. what only matters is who we are now.
if only I was as honest as a kid.
am I a coward?
am I afraid?
or am I just tired of everything?
am I a loser? Well that's my biggest regret, to find the time to listen to every little thing you said.
but I don't seem to understand. what were your intentions?
who do you believe in? I know that it's not me.
I'm done being anything.
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